What Happened To The Idea Of Love?

I seriously thought I read somewhere in the Bible about a commandment dealing with love thy neighbor.  I don't recall there being any stipulations on that commandment.  I don't recall the Bible telling Christians that we could only associate with other Christians...we could only accept other Christians...we could tolerate other Christians...we could only learn about Christianity.
I am a Christian woman who is tired of the closed-mindedness that seems to come along with being a Christian.
I am so glad that early Christians were smart enough to learn about other cultures and religions instead of just locking themselves away from others.  Why do you think we celebrate the Savior's birth in December when he was born in August?   Why do you think we celebrate his death in spring?  Christian holidays coincide with pagan holidays.  It was easier to convert people when you were already celebrating things they were familiar with.
However, Christians aren't the heroes of the story either.  Just ask people in Africa how tolerant Christians are...Just ask the Native Americans how tolerant Christians are...Christians have been very intolerant when others have been in possession of what Christians want.  As time has passed, Christians became less willing to learn about others and become more about "be as I am or else."  Christians have been judgmental instead of loving.  They have forgotten that God is the only judge and that no sin is greater than the other.  So what if someone doesn't live exactly as I do...what do I care?  Are they doing anything worse than I have done....not according God.
It seems now that Christians are up-in-arms against the homosexuals because that is a sin...again...that is for God to judge.  God said to love not to rally in arms against because something is different.
Christians are rallying against Islam because that is a different religion.  Instead of trying to learn about the differences and rallying around the similarities, most Christians are spreading hate.  They are even getting upset when schools teach about Islam in schools as part of the curriculum...which as been in place for years.  Yet now this curriculum is part of the communist take over!!  Do we really not want our children to know about different cultures and religions?  Do we really want sheltered children who know nothing about the world around them?   And what is the answer to this new dilemma....to home school, of course!!! So now there will be an entire generation of children who were taught not by professionals but by Mommy and Daddy....so ready to enter the 21st workforce.
And just so everyone knows....public schools can and do teach Christianity in an historic context.  Students can bring Bibles to schools.  Students can pray in school.  God has not been removed from our schools.  However, our teachers can not teach (preach) that Christianity is the only choice.
Christians are making it hard for those on the outside looking in to see what all the fuse is about.  Those looking in are just seeing a bunch of hypocrites who say God fixes the broken yet won't let the broken into the clubhouses....who say to love thy neighbor except if the neighbor is different than you don't have to love them.
It's time that Christians remember the path that Christ blazed for us and for us to return to that path.
It's time Christians got off their high horses and learned to accept the differences of the world...to accept that we are all broken and can only be fixed by God...to accept that knowledge is understanding...to accept that our earthly duty to love all put here by God because they are also his children.  Only by living as Christ lived will we truly show to others what Christianity is about...

Twenty Minutes, Seriously?

I am a teacher and have been for sixteen years.  But I am getting tired.  Tired of the politics.  Tired of the "know-it-all's"  who have never stepped foot into a classroom.  Tired of the paperwork that means nothing.  Tired of the disrespect.
For the most part I love my students!!!!!  It's the parents I have a problem with.
But that's not the point of this rant.
I am contracted yearly.  I can be non-renewed for any reason.  People want my pay tied to student performance.  Ever heard the phrase, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"? These students are your kids....And YOU want to base MY pay on THEIR test scores??????  You know what they are like at home.  They are no better at school for me...maybe worse because they are trying to impress other kids.
I am a salaried professional who is to clock in at 7:15 and clock out no earlier than 3:30 Monday through Friday.  I get 45 minutes daily to plan for my FOUR different subjects that teach.  I must eat MY lunch with my students at the SAME table in twenty minutes.  If I buy lunch in the cafeteria, I will pay $3.50 for the SAME plate as the students (except I get a glass of tea).  On Wednesdays I am required to stay until 4 for professional development.  I am required to take up tickets at at least three ball games per year (most years it is more), so I don't leave school until close to 9 on those nights.  Ball game duty is off the clock because the time clock is in the building that is locked at 4:30, so inaccessible after game duty.  Then there is Open House, Carnival, Graduation, and other functions that my attendance is required.  All of these functions are in addition to the grading of papers, lesson planning, and various other activities that being a teacher requires.  My Sundays are usually booked with "school work."
In the sixteen years that I have been teaching, I have left campus, maybe, five times during my planning period to conduct personal business.  And, it has always been emergency type situations.  I have left numerous times to conduct school business.  But, now the district, wants me to clock out anytime I leave campus.  Ok, I get that.  What if I am in an accident?  But the district also wants me to request personal leave if I am conducting personal business.  Are you serious?  Do you not remember last Friday night when I was off the clock but still on campus sponsoring the Color Guard at the football game until after 10 p.m.?????  That was a 15 hour day that I worked and you are worried about a twenty minute trip to the bank!!!!!
I have to schedule bathroom breaks, but can't seem to get students to understand why I won't let them go whenever they feel the need.  Parents don't see the need for homework because Little Johnny is in my class for 50 minutes everyday...isn't that enough time to learn 300 years of history plus critical thinking skills????
I have been told that schools should supply paper, pens/pencils, highlighters, and whatever school supplies I require in class.
Yes, I am tired.  I am tired of hearing that I am to blame for failing schools.  Of being told that the state of education is all my fault.  Of feeling guilty because I spent time with MY family instead of spending time on "school work."  Of telling my SON, "just a minute, Momma is working."  Of society thinking my job is so easy anybody could do it.  I challenge you to sub just one day in your area schools and see that it's not for every one.
I am a professional.  And I want to be treated as such

The World Got A Little Darker

Friday, November 14, 2014 the world grew a little darker.  It lost a truly remarkable soul...Mr. John Watts.  I only knew Mr.  Watts for seven short years, but I didn't know how much he inspired me until I heard he passed away.

Mr.  Watts taught high school art at a small rural school in Mississippi.  But he could have taught anywhere he choose.  He choose to never leave that small school because big schools can always get good teachers, but students at small schools often suffer because good teachers either because they won't come or won't stay.  He openly stated that he disliked freshmen, but he always qualified that statement with the explanation that freshmen meant immaturity not necessarily a grade classification. He was senior sponsor and part of the chain gang during football season.  We were part of the faculty that got to school by 6:30 for a 7:50 bell.  We had some amazing talks during these early morning hours with about three other early birds.  

He taught the students art, art history, self-esteem, and so much more.  He believed in us all.  He made me feel as if I was the greatest history to ever grace the halls of the school.  He made the students feel as if they were great artists even if they would never make it past Art I.  As I was struggling with professional issues, feeling torn between loyalty to the students and disagreements with the administration, he always gave wonderful advice to a young, strong-strong woman.  He always told me to be careful what you ask for about wanting to go  to a bigger school system.  He was told me that those bigger schools can always get good teachers but its the smaller schools that need to keep its good teachers...they harder to replace.  Even though I have trouble following this:  he always to me to be careful what I said to the students.  I have a habit of telling the students that I don't care if they learn it or not I am not gonna to make it so easy that they don't have to do anything to get a good grade.  He told once to not worry about principals because they come and go...You just have to outlast the bad ones.

I don't think I can recall him ever complaining or not seeing a smile on his face.  He truly loved his job, his calling, his friends, his co-workers, and his students.  He, along with a few others, were my family while I all by myself.

Hearing of his death, I have decided that I want to be more like him.  I want to stop being so negative.  I want to be more positive.  I want to help my students to see their potential more than I am doing now.  I don't want his light that was always radiating to go completely out.  I want the light that he shined on me for seven years to shine forth from me.

Heroes Among Us

As a high school history teacher for 16 years, I have had several hundred young men and women grace my classroom. Several have been outstanding young people.  Several have remained in my thoughts and prayers years after they have moved on.  Some I stay in contact with to this day.  I have kept up with the lives of many post-school...good and bad.  I understood the impact these young people had on my life.  However I never realized the impact they would have on my son.  My son is my classroom's unofficial mascot.  Now that he has started school (my school is officially a 7-12; however the elementary is connected to the high school by one long hallway), everyone knows him.  He comes to my room in the afternoon with 15 minutes of class left.  My students will automatically ask, "What color were you on today?"  He is high-fived as he walks down the hallway.  I secretly smile at it all.  What mother doesn't want everyone to like/love her son?

As color guard sponsor, I am required to go to all football games.  I really didn't/don't mind.  My husband and son went to most as well.  During one game my son was chosen by the local newspaper reporter to be the Fan of the Game. During the "interview" Farris was asked who his favorite player was.  Farris replied that he worn #4 because Jaylin Aikens was his player.  Jaylin wears #4 for our high school team.  I never dreamed what would follow.

Jaylin started seeking Farris out to get fist-bumps to or high-fives.  It was requested that they take picture together on senior night.  And then  Farris was given this as a present:

For a high school senior to go out of his way to try to make my son happy, bring indescribable joy into my heart.  My son has a hero that he gets to see everyday.  His hero plays football and, to him, is just as great as any NFL player.  My son's hero has already taught him the value of bringing joy to other.  I wish all 5 year-old's had a hero as real as my son.

 I hope these two are friends for years.  Farris will be a fan of Jaylin's for a long time.

No Regrets

Many years ago, I decided that I would have no regrets about my life.  Don't get me wrong.  I have made some horrendous decisions that turned out really bad, but even those choices have made me who I am today. Every decision I have ever made has led me to this moment now.  I like who I am now. I like my life.  I can't imagine it any different. One little decision could have throw everything off.  To have just a tiny regret about the past would be to have a tiny regret about who I am today.  As a child of God, I believe that I perfect in his eyes.  I don't have to be perfect in human eyes.  But to have doubts or regrets about who I am is to think that somehow God created something less than perfect.  I have many times fallen short of the mark, but that is why I am washed in the Blood of the Lamb.  All of the trials and tribulations that I endured prepared me to help someone else.  I gained wisdom to pass along.  I gained empathy for others.  I found understanding in a similar circumstance.  So my no regrets in life motto isn't really about making I don't miss out on an opportunity.  It's more or less about making sure that in the future I don't said, "I wish I hadn't dated that person," or "I wish I had taken that job," or something to that effect. Dating that person taught me lessons.  Not taking that job freed me up for something better.  I don't regret who I was then.  I don't regret who I am now.  I won't regret who I will be.

Forget-Me-Not as I Mourn

Meet my mother.  This is the photo from her high school yearbook. This year she will turn 61.  I have been mourning her loss for seven years even as she still breathes.

We knew something was wrong, but we were unwilling to face facts.  We were grasping at straws; unaccepting of the truth.  Even now I am still learning how bad it really was.  My father hid the truth of my sister and I about the awfulness of the disease.

You see...My mother was diagnosed in her early 50's with early onset of Alzheimer's. But we had very little time left with the person that was my Mom.  My sister had infant twins.  I was just engaged.  My mother, who loved and adored children, would missed out on her own grandchildren.  My sister and I, who were both just starting families, worried about what was to come.  How would we take care of both parents now?  We worried  about our father, who had spent the last 25 years married to a woman who took care of him hand and foot...not because he demanded but because that is what she did.  She took care of people.  She helped out anybody and everybody in need.  And, now, she was going to be the one needed the care.  How was my Dad going to be able to handle it all?  There were so many questions and very few answers.  For a while we just pretended that nothing had changed.  But we could see the changes happening.  My mother was not the same person.  She had become less vibrant.  She barely talked.  She was timid.  She was childlike. She played well with her grandchildren...now numbered three.  But could handle very little else.  Change brought about episodes.

But things change.  Slowly she been to loss memory of how to do things like get dress, use a fork, even bath.  It took a gut wrenching decision by my Dad to put her into a nursing home...in less than two years after the diagnosis.  He was missing out on living as she was dying. It was so hard to go and see my Mother in that place.  I couldn't bring her home even though she was lucid enough to know that that place wasn't home. She would beg to go home.  The tears were hard to take.  However, in less than a two years she was completely bed ridden.  She stopped recognizing my son and husband.  My niece and nephew and brother-in-law are no longer recognized.  Then it happened...My sister and I are no longer known.  My Dad was the last to be lost in her mind.  Even though she is housed twenty miles away, he goes to see her  at  three times a week.  He doesn't stay very long.  He absolutely hates hospitals.  And I think it pains him more than any of us know, to see the love of his life down to 80 pounds and completely unaware and unknowing.

 Two years ago, my Mom waved bye to me and told me that she loved me as she blew me a kiss.  Almost a year ago, I told her that her babies were doing fine and that it was ok to home to Momma and Daddy.

I lost my Mother seven years to a very slow death.  I mourn every time I walk out of her room.  I mourn every time I see aNana with her grandchildren.  I mourn everything I am remind that I can't ask for advice from my Momma.  I mourn every time I hear that someone else Alzheimer's.

Toothless, the Night Fury

Meet my son, Toothless, the Night Fury.  It amazes me how the loss of a tooth can cause so much excitement in him and me.  Just five short years ago, we agonized over the cutting of these "baby" teeth.  Teething caused many sleepless nights and tears to fall, both him and me.  As a new, first time mom, I felt completely helpless as he cut the first of many teeth.  I would check daily to see if that tiny speck of white had broken through the gums.  The first tooth meant my baby was growing up.  It was a bittersweet moment when I realized he had cut his first tooth.  Independence was not far away.  Time was moving so moving fast.  Looking back it seems like yesterday I made the phone calls to grandparents relying the news that my Little Man had teeth.
Now, as we prepare for the visitation by the Tooth Fairy, history is repeating itself.  My Little Man is growing up way too fast. Phone calls are once again being made to grandparents about the impeding visit. Soon more teeth will be lost to the Tooth Fairy.  Adult teeth will soon start replacing the "baby" teeth.  Independence is closer than before.  Although I am excited to see him so excited about the prospect of the Tooth Fairy, a part of me does wish I was back to just being excited over that little bit of white peeking through the gum.  We were so excited over the cutting of that tooth; now we are so excited over the loss of that tooth.  Funny how time changes everything, while some things still the same.

Family: It's What Its All About

Saturday morning the Hubby and I got up at 5:30 to get ready for my yard sale.  We were exhausted by noon when it was over, but it was a success.  We raised over $200 for the Walk to End Alzheimer's.  Our day was still not over.  We still have to drive an hour and half to Baton Rouge for a mini family reunion.

 These are the "cousins."  We basically grew up together.  A few are missing from this picture.  The stories that this group could tell:  you would laugh, cry, wonder how we survived (some of us into our 40's), and understand all the gray hair in our parents' heads.  However, we grew apart.  One said it best last night, " We live basically right down the road from each from other and have only seen each other once in two years."   This reunion happened because one of us drove from Wisconsin to Louisiana to see the rest of us.  The whole family has not been together in over 30 years.  How do we get so busy that we can't make time for the most important people in the world?  We make time for all the nonessential, nonsense in our lives, but we can't take one weekend to drive 3 hours to see those who helped us to become who we are today?

I must admit that I was both looking forward to this reunion and dreading it at the same time.  In my mind's eye, this group was still teenagers and younger.  None of us had gone through the trials and tribulations of adulthood.  All of us had changed, and I wasn't sure if I would like who I would met.  Most of this group was in marriage number two, so there was spouses to contend with too.  What if none of us had anything in common anymore?  But there was one very important reason to make sure this reunion happened.

Meet the "second generation cousins."  Many of these 2nd cousins had never met each other.  These cousins should have the opportunity to create their own stories that they can sit around many years later laughing about.  They should grow up making mistakes together while trying to find their own way in this crazy world like their parents did.  These cousins should know that no matter what their family has their backs and will be there to help them in all situations.  These cousins should realize that they will never be alone a moment in their lives because they are part of a family.

I had forgotten all of this throughout these many years as I was busy making my life my own.  I thought that I was all my own son needed.  I was so badly wrong.  He needs this group of people in his life.  He needs both the first generation cousins and the second.  Just like I need the cousins and the parents of the cousins.  I realized that the chaos of family is a blessing never to be taken lightly.

One of my aunts said it best, "Momma and Daddy would be proud of our family."  This was said as children were splashing around and the cousins were carrying various conversations to catch up on 30 years as the parents looked on proudly.

Biological family isn't the only kind of family that is important.  As I said goodbye to my sister and her family, I was missing my faith family.  I rarely miss a chance to worship with my faith family because I feel so connected to my small church.  I really enjoy coming together with that group of people.  I do consider them family.  I also have a work family.  Not everyone I work with do I consider family, but there are several that I do consider part of a work family.  I enjoy the friendship that we share and fact I know I can count on several of my coworkers if needed in times of hardship.  I am truly blessed in terms of family.