Getting Sued Over An Appendix

Here is my story:

On the morning of June 14, 2015, I woke up with severe pain in my side.  My son woke up soon after me and requested breakfast.  I told him to go wake up his Dad because I could not simply make breakfast...the pain was too bad.  When my husband woke up, he immediately called my in-laws about taking our son for the day because we were going to the ER.

It was decided at the ER after a CT that my appendix was on the verge of rupturing; however, our local hospital did not do surgeries on Sunday.  I was loaded onto an ambulance was taken to a town 30 miles away.  By this time I was given morphine to manage the pain.  Once at the second hospital, I was put in the ER while I waited for my husband to get to the hospital.  In the ER I signed all my consent forms (while under the influence of pain medication).  Six hours after initially arriving at the first ER, I finally have the surgery.  It was successful.  End of story....

Until the bills started coming in.  Granted I pay $300 a month in insurance premiums.  I knew I would not be able to pay in full any of the bills because one surgery would equal to at least 3 to 4 different bills.  My default amount is $25 until I know the final amount and the final number of bills.  I pay $25 each and every time I receive a bill in the mail.  When the hospital got its first payment, I was called and told that the payment was insufficient.  I was required to pay $40 an month to keep the bill out of collections.  I paid on the bill for six months without missing a single payment; however, I was turned over to collections for insufficient payments.  My medical bills were over $7000.  As a family who lives paycheck to paycheck, this was a hardships.  But I was determined to pay on each bill each month in order to show that I was at least trying to pay off these bills.  Only the hospital, Forrest General Hospital, would not work with me.  They even lost my tax information that I sent them to try to get financial assistance.

I was turned over to a collections agency, who refuses to sent out bills.  I am currently paying on seven different medical bills.  With the day to day stresses of just living, I need a monthly bill sent to me.  Collections agencies are the worst at working with people to pay off debts.

I am now in the process of being sued for the amount of $1200.  I was told by the business office of Forrest General Hospital that I had a choice when I went to the ER, so therefore I don't have a choice in the amount I owe each month to them.  The lawyer told me that since I am a certified public school teacher I can afford to pay him $200 a month to pay off this debt.  This lawyer told me to go get a loan...I am loaned to the max.  He told me to borrow the money from a relative.  I have a solution:  just let me make the payments I was making!!!!!

I have worked very hard to only make purchases that I can afford.  This surgery was life or death for me.  I didn't have a choice.  I couldn't go home and think about it before I choose to have it done.  This wasn't a cosmetic procedure.  I was faithfully making payments.  I paid off five of the medical bills related to this surgery.  Forrest General Hospital didn't give me a chance to paid off their bill.  This lawyer doesn't know my financial situation.  I never once refused to pay this bill.  I just can't pay what the lawyer and the hospital want me to pay for a surgery that saved my life.  I still want to pay off this debt because a service was rendered to me.  This lawyer and Forrest General Hospital are literally going to cause severe hardship on me.

And I am angered to see all the people who frequent the ER for runny noses and what not....and now, I can't even afford to take my son to the regular doctor even though I paid for health insurance every month.

No one is the voice of the middle class who are struggling to keep their heads above water.  No one wants to speak out against the medical industry who is causing the working class to lose the war everyday.  No one cares about the average person who is struggling to keep this country together.

Somehow I will not let this story will not stop here.

How Can I Fight AT&T

Several months ago we decided to get Direct TV.  We had already broken our pledge to NEVER do business with AT&T when I had to get a new cell phone.  (I am NOT happy with their coverage!)  So we bit the bullet and got "satellite."  

We had not been happy with our local cable company's internet for a long time, so on a whim, we called AT&T to inquire about their service.  After being told that the installation of a line would be waived and the service would be cheaper, we decided to switch on the condition that NONE of our bills be bundled.  Jobs require separate bills for reimbursement.

Imagine our surprise when I notice that the Direct TV is not deducted from our account at it's normal time.  After calling to see what was up, we discover that our bills for the TV and internet had been combined onto one bill.  After a couple of attempts, we thought we had the situation settled.  It would take 3 months to uncombine and in the meantime, AT&T would credit us the amount of our internet bill that we could no longer submit for reimbursement.

Again....imagine our surprise when we not only get a internet bill, but get a internet bill that is not higher than the price we were promised to be locked into for 2 years!!!!  And a past due bill that we never received!!!!!  We went from owing nothing for two months to owing $150.00.  We had to track down a payment that I sent in because it was for the "old" account.  Now we have a "new" account.  We can't have the quoted locked in price because that was just for combined bills.  So we are now locked into a higher rate because we refuse to combine bills.  We were completely up front in the beginning that we didn't want to combine bills.  We were promise $150.00 in credit that never materialized.  And now, I owe more at one time than I am accustomed to paying...all because of their mistake.

Why can't my contract be voided based on false information or something?  Why must I be penalized for a big company's complete disregard of customer service?  This company has employees that flat out lied and will not own up its mistakes.  There has be some protection for the small consumers.

In two years...everything with AT&T on it will be out of my house NEVER to return!!!!!!!

I Have Them Worried

So my assistant principal as been asking me everyday since Tuesday if I was good.  She is my friend on Facebook.  I have made some posts that indicated that I was none to pleased about the timing of the recent changes nor the delivery of said changes.

Yesterday, she came in during my planning period to have a heart to heart to just make sure I was all good.  She couldn't have the "staples" of the school upset.  I told her that given time I would be fine.  I explained how the timing was wrong to implement new formats along with new due dates because we were running a shorten week along with a mid week football game that affected a lot of teachers.  She explained that administration hadn't even considered all of  that....AND that, folks, is the problem.  Administration dreams up solutions to problems perceived without considering ramifications on teachers which will ultimately have ramifications on students....and not always in the good way administration wants.

But I have been in the game long enough to know how to play game and know that I will survive administration changes.  Administrators come and go because they are always trying to move up the pay ladder away from actual contact with students.  Some legit want to change the game, but the game changes them.

Heck....contact with students is where the fun is.  It's where you stay real.

I have them worried but what they don't know is that I'm not going anywhere....Someone has to fight for my kids.

Really, Just Really

I am a 17 year veteran of the educational system.  I am not new to teaching.  I have been through one or two or ten principals and a couple of superintendents.   I know my content area.  I know kids.  I am tough.  My kids deserve my toughness.  They only have one year left before the big bad real world hits them square in the face.  I accept no excuses.

I spend my summers preparing for the upcoming school year.  I always feel prepared.  I am always ready.

Why am I so unprepared at this point in the year?  Why can't I seem to get caught up?  Why is the administration changing everything every week?  The paperwork is threatening to drown me.  The endless deadlines that have nothing to do with teaching are causing me to reach my breaking point.  I am constantly told how little money there is; yet I constantly see financial waste.  When did teaching become more about numbers and not at all about students?

Now I have to turn in lesson plans on Friday instead of Monday in order to make life easier on the principal.  But administration did make it easier for me to plan...they got my a binder filled with all kinds of resources...my binder has 20 sheets in it compared to other teachers' with over 200.

I still haven't contacted every one of my students' parents.  It's really hard when I don't get home until 7 because of band practice.  I guess I need to stop teaching one day in order to get caught up.

No wonder people leave the profession....I am a paper pusher instead of a grower of minds.

Momma, I don't wanna go to school today.  It's no fun there anymore.

Graditude

September 6, 2016

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  I still have my job (not sure for how much longer)
2.  I have a wonderful 7 year old son who doesn't see all the negative in the world
3.  I can play Pokemon Go with my son without guilt.

September 7, 2016

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  I have a wonderful church family who accept me warts and all
2.  I no longer am the only non coach in my PLC
3.  That today is Wednesday

September 8, 2016  (I am posting this late because a high school football game happened)

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  I have an amazing Daddy who acts like a grizzly bear but is really a big ol'teddy bear!!!
2.  I have 5 rescue fur babies who have very unique personalities and make our house more a fun crazy zoo
3.  My life is insane and I have to remember that life is not about the job but the time away from 9-5

September 9, 2016 (Again posting late because work happened)

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  It is Friday (Need I say more!!!!)
2.  We have a Sonic and there is a Route 44
3.  Audio Books on my phone!!!!!  (I don't think it's considered cheating the read the Book Club book through audio....Do you????)

September 10, 2016 (Again posting late because life happen)

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  College football
2.  Clouds on really hot days
3.  Time spent with the family at The Rock

September 11, 2016

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  Our Law Enforcement officers
2.  I have not forgotten 15 years ago
3.  There are those who are willing to lay their lives down so I will be protected both domestically and aboard

September 12, 2016

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  For the sound of thunder...it promises the cleansing of rain
2.  Monday is only 24 hours long
3.  To Do Lists that get done

September 13, 2016

Three things I am grateful for today

1.  Crockpots
2.  It's almost Fall
3.  Gym memberships

September 14, 2016 (Posting late because I was beyond tired)

Three things I am grateful for today

1.  Air conditioned school buses
2.  Good friends at work
3.  Junk food at Church

September 15, 2016

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  Amazing bosses
2.  Amazing kids
3.  Tomorrow

September 16, 2016 (Late posting because of a football game)

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  Ponchos
2.  Short trips on school buses
3.  Older kids who don't mind little kids tagging along

September 17, 2016

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  Lower temperatures....high 80's are better than low 90's
2.  Hard working band members who want new uniforms
3.  The generosity of strangers who just donate to a high school marching band car wash fundraiser 

September 18, 2016 (late posting....just a long day)

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  Church
2.  Kids
3.  Quick trips to Walmart

September 19, 2016

Three things I am grateful for today:

1.  The last bell of the day
2.  Grandparents who can watch grandkids
3.  Sleep

I Really Do Love Teaching

If you really want to know what is wrong with our educational system, I will tell you.

First, let me give you a little background about me:  I have been teaching for 17 years in history.  Most of those years have been in a state tested subject, so I have been under a microscope.  I really don't mind attending relevant professional development because I WANT to be a better teacher.  I truly believe that what I am doing is crucial for the future.

However, I am tired of the politics.  I have been the History Department Chair at my school for 8 years...sadly the title comes with more responsibility and no more pay.  My school keeps hiring people in my department that can't do their job...they expect me (as department chair) to find resources and to do all lesson planning plus my own!!!  I keep getting the excuses "I've never taught this before."  Well, you know something....there was a time when I haven't taught a subject before and NO ONE even offered to help....I am NOT doing your job for your!  I have the same amount of free time  as you....I have a family, I teach Sunday School, I am Color Guard sponsor!!!!!!

Now....this year I have a long term sub in my department.  I have been told that I will need to find resources and materials for her to use in class.....WHAT?!?!?!?!?!?!  So now I am doing the job of two teachers for the pay of one!!!!!!!  This is not going to end well for one of us.

You see....I teach 11th grade US History.  The students must pass a state issued test in my class to graduate high school.  For some reason, history is not important until students reach my class.  I have to teach content, historical skills, critical thinking skills, vocabulary, and to a certain extent reading.  That's a lot to cram into one class in a year time span.  And if test scores are not high enough.....I have to brave the heat and the must answer for the scores....even if the year before me there was no teacher!!!!!

My school needed two history teachers for the upcoming year.  We hired one.  There was a teacher at the school who was hired three years ago as a history teacher but was moved to science because he was needed there.  He desperately wants to teach history again.  The school won't move him back to history.  The sub who will be teaching history this year was teaching science last year....Go figure!

And with all this chaos, my district has decided to limit the number of copies we can make this to 3,000 the whole year!!!!  This will fun.  I have a feeling that I will be breaking some rules.  After all, my Geography class doesn't have books....

Administrators and politicians are doing the students a grave injustice be playing games.

Looks like I will miss my son's second grade year because I will be doing two jobs for the pay of one!!!!!!

I Am Not Sociable

I am a teacher.  I get summers off....Not!!!  I started planning for next year as soon as last year was over.  I have two workshops to attend and a new curriculum to write.  And I do want to spend quality time with my own family.

The first workshop has come and gone.  It was a three day event on the Mississippi Gulf Coast.  I spent two nights away from my family...right in the middle of Vacation Bible School.  This is normally a time for my co-workers and I to socialize away from school.  Normally I enjoy the sitting around the "dinner table" and shooting the breeze.  This year was a little different.  A vast majority of the teachers attending were several years younger.  Most enjoy the bar area.  And clicks were formed.  And I had a new book (the third in a series) that I was DYING to read.  And I had a room to myself.

I am weird.  I go to conferences to actually get new ideas...to improve my teaching.  I don't go to let my hair down.  I don't enjoy drinking.  I don't enjoy being in that scene.  I don't get why some think that conference means:  oh, I can do things here that I can't or won't at home.  I resent being made to feel that I have to be in that situation to socialize with my co-workers.

Conflicted Christian

I am not getting the Christian community right now.  I have always had time periods in my life where I have had issues with organized religion.  I have NEVER been conflicted about my faith in God...just man.  I am the first to admit that I am not a biblical scholar.  I am not a wise holy man (woman).  I tend to wing it.  I go on faith.  I listen to my heart.  I listen to that voice inside my gut that seems to start as a whisper and if I don't listen to it fast enough, it becomes a shout inside my head.

As a Christian, who is trying to live life as Jesus wants me to, I do not get as this hate coming from the Christian world.  Christians are walking around like the world owes them something for being Christians....like the world has to bow to them and their beliefs...their way of life.   It may just be me, but I thought it was the other way around.  I thought it was the Christians who were to go out into the world and mingle in the world while preaching the Word.  My Momma always said that you would catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.  The more Christians become exclusive instead of inclusive, the more the world will push back against Christianity.

Modern day American Christians are throwing around the word persecution; however, they have no idea what persecution really is. Because the world is forcing Christians to show extreme love to non Christians?  Because the world is forcing Christians to have opportunities to preach the word in a loving way?  Because the world is forcing Christians to move outside their own comfort zones and to look deep into their own hearts to examine their own true faith?  Can today's Christians handle the task that has been handed to them?

I don't get the entire separation of the denominations of Christianity.  Baptists believe that they are better than Catholics who are better than Methodists who are better than Lutherans who are better than Pentecostals and so on.  Really?   Can we stop this insane belief that only people like "me" are true Christians?  Look at the different people Jesus called to his side.  Can we look at his example to be fisher of men today?

I really want to be more involved in my Church, but I feel that my views are in conflict with my church leadership.  I don't believe that I have to accept everyone's views.  However, I do believe that I have to love everyone and accept everyone....flaws and all.  No one's sins are greater than my own.  I only have to answer for my own sins.  Only through love can non-believers be led to God.  Fire and Brimstone will not do it.  Jesus did not spread the Word in the temples.  Jesus walked and talked among the sinners; however, most Christians refuse to go to the places where the non-believers are.  Most Christians are only found in churches on Sunday mornings.  They only go through the motions.
I am not perfect.  I am guilty of being the comfort zone Christian.  But I am tired of just being that Christian.  The voice is screaming in head that I NEED to be doing more.  I don't know what yet, so I guess I am doing to start with just one act of kindness in the name of God at a time.  All I know is that love is the answer:  for God so LOVED the world!!!!  Christians must be examples of God's love on the Earth today.

Mother's Day

This day is now a bitter sweet day for me.  Seven years ago I became a mother...no one could prepare for the love I would come to know for my son.  Eight years ago my own mother was finally diagnosed with Alzheimer's after several years of knowing something was just not right.  My mom doesn't know me anymore and that hurts beyond belief.  I haven't yet lost my mom, but I've lost my mom.

I was really looking forward to this day in particular because my son was getting dedicated at church.  This was a very personal thing for me.  I grew up believing in infant baptisms.  My husband grew up differently.  At the time of my son's birth, we were disillusioned with the church and were not attending any church.  When my son turned three, we started back attending church and asked about dedicating him to the Lord...I was very concerned about him not being baptized.  We were told that the church didn't do such things.  Should have seen the writing on the wall.  But enough.  Our new church is wonderful and unknowingly really set my mind and heart at ease this morning.  I felt better just saying out loud that I intend to do my best to teach him and raise him in the ways of the Lord.

But I must say this has been the worse Mother's Day ever.  My Dad, who was in town for another family function, didn't even say goodbye this morning.  I was asked to decide where we were going to eat lunch today, but that was decided for me.  I was the first one out of bed to take the dog out.  I had to clean up hair balls, do the wash, and it was decided that we were all go see the new Captain America movie today...because we all know how much I love my comic book movies.  The only presents I got were a new P3 control (because I play soooo many video games) and new maroon sheets (don't ask why because I really don't have a good answer or a flippant one).  I did love the cards my son made me (I didn't even get store bought one).  We got home from the movie right at my son's bedtime and we hadn't even eat supper yet.  Needless to say he went to bed an hour late because he had to eat and shower.  My husband played ignorance about the length of the movie but he told me it was two and an half hours long....soooooo if it starts at 5:30 that would mean it would end at 8:00.  To write this has been the first time all day that I really sat down for any length of time without something to do.  And now it's time to get ready for the upcoming week.

I don't mean to sound petty, but I'm tired.  I'm tired not having one single thing to call my own....even Mother's Day turns into what my husband wants to do.  For once I just want it to be all about me, but I don't think he even knows how to make it really all about me.  I guess for Father's Day we'll go see another movie...I think the new Ninja Turtle movie will be out by then.  I might even get him a card.

The Lies of Education

I hate to admit it but it took me almost two years to realize the lie that my state department of education is telling.

I am an educator.   I like to think that I am more than capable of thinking for myself.  Most of the time I can see the benefits of a majority of our policies.

But I call BULL on this!!!

We were told at the district level that our students would take all high stakes tests on the computer because those who are in a high pay grade than me believed the students would do better.  Just because students can navigate a cell phone better than Bill Gates doesn't mean they can operate the dinosaur we call the computer.  The computer has a thing called a keyboard and a mouse.  The students can't use their fingers to scroll through the test.

I spend 8 and 1/2 months teaching content and test-taking strategies...which are completely useless on the computer.  I teach the students to underline, circle, highlight, cross out, draw lines, and such on the test to simplify the question, to relate answer choices to the question, and whatnot.

If the district or state personnel would bother to ask the students what the students wanted, the high paid experts would quickly find that the students want an ol'fashioned pencil/paper test.  They feel more comfortable bubbling in circles.  Besides, it's not like when they hit "submit" at the end of the test, they get their results.  It still takes the same about of time to get the results back because of validation issues.

But it hit me last night.  Computer tests are NOT about making the students' lives better, easier, or more comfortable.  It's about the school personnel.  If the tests are on the computer, then there are no test booklets, no answer sheets, no scratch paper, and such that need to be kept secure all the time.  There's less of a chance of someone looking at something they shouldn't.  It's all about TEST SECURITY not about student ACHIEVEMENT!!!!!!!

And here, I thought these people actually cared about the students we are paid to serve.  Sometimes I am disgusted by the educational system that I love so much.

Little League Frustrations

My son is in his fourth year of playing in little league...playing three years for the same coach.  I am, by nature, not a very competitive person.  I want him to win because I don't want him to feel bad.  As a teacher I understand the need to learn that he will not always win in life.  I really never want my attitude to affect how he feels about something.

I think I have made a mistake.  I have messed something up this season.

My son used to enjoy baseball.  He used to want to play catch.  He used to get excited about his games.  This season he has feigned sick twice on game day.

Here are my baseball rules:

1.  Do your best.
2.  Have fun.
3.  Finish out the season, if you decide you don't like it because your teammates are counting on you.

Here's my frustrations and, please keep in mind, that I am no way a coach.  I am just a mom.

Our team has eleven players who all get to play every game.  Our team is made up of players who have mostly played together before.  Our infield are the only kids who get fielding practice.  Our catch is told to just stand there and not get hit by the bats.  The first baseman runs to cover home...leaving first empty (can't tell you how many runs that has cost us).  The shortstop pretends that the third baseman doesn't exist...no one in the infield throws the ball to the third baseman.  The shortstop plays third, second, and some outfield all at the same time.  The outfield only stops balls because no one has worked with them at all.  We have four really good hitters to start off our batting line up and then after they have hit, we're done scoring.  Once again, no one worked with the middle and bottom of the order.  Only four players get any attention in practice.

Four of the other players have been told by someone on the team that they really aren't good so they shouldn't play.  Four players who really enjoy the game and play hard...now don't want to play because they don't feel like they are worth the coach's time.

My son might not catch every ball hit into center field.  He might not get a hit every at bat...But he hustles out onto the field every inning.  He hustles onto the on deck circle.  He will give his all.  He will not throw his helmet down when he is called out.  He will not cry when he is out at third.  He will not cry when the team losses (I thought Tom Hanks had taught us that there was no crying in baseball).  He will keep his head held high and say, "next time we'll get'em,"

I really thought the purpose of a 7-year-old baseball team was to teach fundamentals, not to change up the line-up or to switch up who is in the outfield based on hitters (how are the outfielders gonna learn to catch those hits if the coach doesn't leave them alone?) in order to try to win and maintain first place in the league.  I have tried to keep my thoughts to myself, so my son doesn't feed on my disappointment with the set up.

Our team has eleven players.  Four who have been told how good and valuable they are.  Seven who have been left to their own defenses but would do anything the coach asked.

My pick for the All-stars are the seven,

Heritage of Hate

                                       

It is time to end this madness.  14 years old I voted to keep the Mississippi State flag because I was young and dumb.  I am older and a littler wiser now.  I don't look at history through rose colored glasses, either.  I don't tell myself pretty little lies to make myself feel better.  No matter how you slice it that symbol on the Mississippi State flag stands for division, hatred, control, power, and (yes) racism.  The symbol might have  stood for other things in the past and might stand for other things for some people today, but that flag divides our nation just as the institution of slavery did 150 years old.

People took that flag and made it into a symbol in the 1950s that we should not want to be a part of.  It was made to symbolize white control over blacks...the stoppage of Civil Rights legislation by the Dixiecrats.  Today it still symbolizes control.  People  are fighting for control over not to change it because it represents the past....Our heritage, they say.  Heritage....heritage of what dominance over another human being?????  Slavery may have been over a long time ago, but the dominance of whites over blacks wasn't.  Heritage of hate crimes perpetuated by cowards disguised in  whites robes????  Heritage of denying basic constitutional rights to our own citizens because we might lose control?????  Is this the heritage we are so desperate trying to save....to connect to the present.....to refuse to lie in the past?????  Are we not willing to change an image to change our image???? to show the world the real Mississippi....the present-day Mississippi?  Or is it that we haven't changed at all?????

People are saying that there is no need to change the flag because it won't change people's hearts.  that statement is very true.  I am afraid, judging by the comments being made, Mississippi hasn't changed all that much in the past 60 years.  People are having a hard time distinguishing history from past.  Myths and misunderstandings are being told as gospel truths.  The under educated are vocalizing the loudest.  Maybe that's why people are so against this change....has been no real change of heart in Mississippi. I really had thought Mississippi had let go of the past and put it nicely in the history books to stay.  I had begun to think Mississippi had moved past the ugliest of her history, but I guess not.

There is no other way to describe this symbol or Mississippi's past, but as a heritage of hate.  No matter how many Southern Rock bands try to make it a Southern Pride symbol.  There is just too much history wrapped up into this to cause anything but division.  But nice try, Lynyrd Skynyrd.

So Long

Four years we decided to get iPhones.  So we went to our cell phone service provider and got them.  I was even talked into getting the iCare package...I never get insurance on anything.  Seeing as it was close to Christmas, we were somewhat worried about a larger than normal cell phone bill, but the service representative assured me that the first bill would not come until after the first of the year because of when the billing cycle was set up.  Imagine my surprise when just a week late, I received a bill for close to $400!!!!  I called the customer service number to complain and get everything straightened out.  I was told that there was nothing to be done, but I could return the phones and leave the company if I was that upset about the situation.  I was seeing red at that point.  It was perfectly acceptable for employees to lie to customers.
I should have left.  I did, however, just pay half of the bill then and half of the bill after Christmas.
Eight months ago, I started receiving upwards 7 to 10 telemarketing phone calls a day.  Even though I was on the Do Not Call list and told the callers to not call me again, I was constantly getting calls.  I would receive  phone calls at 8 in the morning and 10 at night.  I went to my cell service provider to see about changing my phone number.  I was told that it would not be a problem.  It took less than 10 minutes.  Again, imagine my surprise when I found out that I was charged $10 for changing my number.  No one told me that!  I called to complained and was told that I should have known that....how?????
Four months ago we decided to get rid of the iPhones.  After researching we decided to switch to the Galaxy and stay with our current provider.  We were told that we could buy the phones outright for a certain price without changing our plan or going back under a contract.  We had unlimited everything.    Imagine my surprise....probably not surprised by now.....when two months later my bill increases by $30 dollars.  I go to the store to find out why.
And here's what I find:
I am back under a contract and the new cost of my plan is $80 instead of $65 per phone.  We were lied to again.  To say that I am mad at this point is an understatement.  And here's how the problem was fixed:  We had to return our Galaxies, but we could not get the iPhones back because they were sent to the factory (probably to be someone else's refurbished phones).  And everything would be restored to the way it was the day we purchased the Galaxies.  My husband, who didn't need a phone due to having a work phone, got out of the deal free and clear. I, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky.  I had to purchase a slider non smart phone and pitch a fit about having to pay for a smart phone plan to get that changed.
The next day I went to another provider.  Bought a new iPhone with a better plan.  Returned to my previous provider to return the slider.
Never back me into a corner.  I do not have to do business with anybody.  I am the customer.  You, my friend, are not the only show in town.

Memories Are Not Forever

I didn't think turning 40 would affect me....no other birthday has affected me.  Age has always been just a number.  I have always lived according the principle that you are only as old as you feel....and I have never felt old at all.
But the older I get, the more I miss my mom.  I realize now what she went through as those years ago.  She lost her mom as a younger adult with two small children.  Although she had a great relationship with her mother-in-law, sometimes a girl just wants her mother.
There are so many things I want to ask or just simply say to her.
I wish we had been honest with each other in the early stages of the disease.  I wish we had taken advantage of the days while they lasted.  I wish we hadn't refused to acknowledge that something was wrong.  I wish I had wrote down all the questions and had the courage to ask them.  I wish I had recorded the answers.
My son will never know his Nana.  His memories of her will only be of in the hospital as he calls it.  He will never know how much she loved the idea of him.  How much family meant to her.  How much she loved children.
She will never be able to help me raise him as I am so clueless. I can never ask for her advice.  I can only rely on my memories and what I think she would have done based on what I know of her.
No one can fully understand the wickedness of this situation until you have traveled down this road.  It is a road I truly hopes no one ever has to walk.  As my mom lies in a bed slowly dying, she was taken from me years ago by  Alzheimer's.  We wasted this critical early years by pretending everything was ok.  We should have been documenting our lives for later.  We should have been preparing for heartache.  I have very little left of my mom.  I have a lot of memories, but...as I know all too well, even those are not guaranteed to last forever.
I wear purple for my mom who I said my good bye too last April.  She didn't know who I was when I waved and said, "I love you Mom."
I can walk into her room anytime I want too, but my mom won't be there.  She hasn't been there in a long time.  She is no longer lying in that bed.  Her soul...her mind left a long time ago.  What is in that bed is just the shell of who she was.
Purple was her favorite color.  It has always been mine.  Now it means even more.

The Break-Up

Last Wednesday, January 14th, began as an ordinary day. Little did I know it would end in devastating heart break to which I have little to compare. 

The beginning of the end began with a simple phone: can you come to church early or stay a little late? I would like to talk to you.  Said the preacher.

Thirty minutes early we were at church.

****backstory****

I am a Christian but I don't trust the Church.  Christians are hurtful people who talk a good game but rarely practice what they preach. Everyone sins, but not everyone forgives.  I am working so hard to not be one of those Christians.  God has always had my back, and when I was one of those people calling Christians weak I never turned away from God...just from the Church.
However in 2010 I felt a pull...heard a call.  I refused to answer for almost a year.  In September of 2011 I entered The Church on Main.  It was the best decision for my family.  I found peace.  I found a group of non judgemental people who cared. The message was simple: go after people's hearts...simply love mankind regardless of level brokenness because we are all broken.  God loves each of us...we should do no less.  Through example show the world the life of Chirst.  Admit sin. Ask forgiveness. Move on. Strive to do better. My son flourished in his learning at the tender young age of four.  He was happy.  We slowly took on roles inside the church. Made friends, which was huge for me. I guard my emotions and heart...too scared of the resulting pain.

*****
Then it happened.  The Devil made his way in. The church came under attack. 

It subtle but I felt something was off.  We had prayed for change, and change we got.  Our children's ministry leader stepped down causing two couples to step up...we were one. Decisions became dividers.  The worship team became smaller as the other couple became more involved.  Still I was not willing give in and leave. This was my Church family. 

Facebook was the catalyst for the ending of a wonderful relationship.  We had started a church page that the other couple demanded co-control over that we were told to allow in order to not have strife.  Then they got offended by a post on our personal Facebook page and went to the preacher with concerns.

And that is where the phone call and meeting came into play.  What should have been a non issue became strife in the Church. We were told to apologize for offending the other couple. At that point my pride and stubbornness came out.  I had played nice for four months. I let all my concerns that were spoken be over looked for four months. I let all my opinions fall on deaf ears for four months.  I was done. I put the snacks on the table for the children and walked out.

No goodbyes were said. I was too hurt. My friend, my brother in Christ, my preacher turned his back on me.  I waited for him to reach out...to acknowledge the hurt that he caused.  The phone was hauntingly silent as my heart continued to break.  I hurt for the Church that was my home.   After three days, I told my story on Facebook. I really wanted to tell my friends goodbye and why I left.  The messages of love poured in.  The pain eased. The understandings were stated.

Then the phone call came. It was time for spin control.  The preacher called because he felt disrespected by the post. He claimed no knowledge of our being upset.  He just didn't want bad publicity. The break-up from the Church was complete.  Distrust and hurt was too deep rooted and both sides.  We didn't want go back, and we wouldn't be welcomed back.

The pain and heart break is not as bad too.  My son cried when I tried to explain to him that we would not be going back to that Church.  It's sad that I expect to the topic of gossip at a place that I shouldn't be.  I will continue to pray for my friends that they triumph in this battle with the Devil and for those that are being used by the Devil.

What Happened To The Idea Of Love?

I seriously thought I read somewhere in the Bible about a commandment dealing with love thy neighbor.  I don't recall there being any stipulations on that commandment.  I don't recall the Bible telling Christians that we could only associate with other Christians...we could only accept other Christians...we could tolerate other Christians...we could only learn about Christianity.
I am a Christian woman who is tired of the closed-mindedness that seems to come along with being a Christian.
I am so glad that early Christians were smart enough to learn about other cultures and religions instead of just locking themselves away from others.  Why do you think we celebrate the Savior's birth in December when he was born in August?   Why do you think we celebrate his death in spring?  Christian holidays coincide with pagan holidays.  It was easier to convert people when you were already celebrating things they were familiar with.
However, Christians aren't the heroes of the story either.  Just ask people in Africa how tolerant Christians are...Just ask the Native Americans how tolerant Christians are...Christians have been very intolerant when others have been in possession of what Christians want.  As time has passed, Christians became less willing to learn about others and become more about "be as I am or else."  Christians have been judgmental instead of loving.  They have forgotten that God is the only judge and that no sin is greater than the other.  So what if someone doesn't live exactly as I do...what do I care?  Are they doing anything worse than I have done....not according God.
It seems now that Christians are up-in-arms against the homosexuals because that is a sin...again...that is for God to judge.  God said to love not to rally in arms against because something is different.
Christians are rallying against Islam because that is a different religion.  Instead of trying to learn about the differences and rallying around the similarities, most Christians are spreading hate.  They are even getting upset when schools teach about Islam in schools as part of the curriculum...which as been in place for years.  Yet now this curriculum is part of the communist take over!!  Do we really not want our children to know about different cultures and religions?  Do we really want sheltered children who know nothing about the world around them?   And what is the answer to this new dilemma....to home school, of course!!! So now there will be an entire generation of children who were taught not by professionals but by Mommy and Daddy....so ready to enter the 21st workforce.
And just so everyone knows....public schools can and do teach Christianity in an historic context.  Students can bring Bibles to schools.  Students can pray in school.  God has not been removed from our schools.  However, our teachers can not teach (preach) that Christianity is the only choice.
Christians are making it hard for those on the outside looking in to see what all the fuse is about.  Those looking in are just seeing a bunch of hypocrites who say God fixes the broken yet won't let the broken into the clubhouses....who say to love thy neighbor except if the neighbor is different than you don't have to love them.
It's time that Christians remember the path that Christ blazed for us and for us to return to that path.
It's time Christians got off their high horses and learned to accept the differences of the world...to accept that we are all broken and can only be fixed by God...to accept that knowledge is understanding...to accept that our earthly duty to love all put here by God because they are also his children.  Only by living as Christ lived will we truly show to others what Christianity is about...

Twenty Minutes, Seriously?

I am a teacher and have been for sixteen years.  But I am getting tired.  Tired of the politics.  Tired of the "know-it-all's"  who have never stepped foot into a classroom.  Tired of the paperwork that means nothing.  Tired of the disrespect.
For the most part I love my students!!!!!  It's the parents I have a problem with.
But that's not the point of this rant.
I am contracted yearly.  I can be non-renewed for any reason.  People want my pay tied to student performance.  Ever heard the phrase, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"? These students are your kids....And YOU want to base MY pay on THEIR test scores??????  You know what they are like at home.  They are no better at school for me...maybe worse because they are trying to impress other kids.
I am a salaried professional who is to clock in at 7:15 and clock out no earlier than 3:30 Monday through Friday.  I get 45 minutes daily to plan for my FOUR different subjects that teach.  I must eat MY lunch with my students at the SAME table in twenty minutes.  If I buy lunch in the cafeteria, I will pay $3.50 for the SAME plate as the students (except I get a glass of tea).  On Wednesdays I am required to stay until 4 for professional development.  I am required to take up tickets at at least three ball games per year (most years it is more), so I don't leave school until close to 9 on those nights.  Ball game duty is off the clock because the time clock is in the building that is locked at 4:30, so inaccessible after game duty.  Then there is Open House, Carnival, Graduation, and other functions that my attendance is required.  All of these functions are in addition to the grading of papers, lesson planning, and various other activities that being a teacher requires.  My Sundays are usually booked with "school work."
In the sixteen years that I have been teaching, I have left campus, maybe, five times during my planning period to conduct personal business.  And, it has always been emergency type situations.  I have left numerous times to conduct school business.  But, now the district, wants me to clock out anytime I leave campus.  Ok, I get that.  What if I am in an accident?  But the district also wants me to request personal leave if I am conducting personal business.  Are you serious?  Do you not remember last Friday night when I was off the clock but still on campus sponsoring the Color Guard at the football game until after 10 p.m.?????  That was a 15 hour day that I worked and you are worried about a twenty minute trip to the bank!!!!!
I have to schedule bathroom breaks, but can't seem to get students to understand why I won't let them go whenever they feel the need.  Parents don't see the need for homework because Little Johnny is in my class for 50 minutes everyday...isn't that enough time to learn 300 years of history plus critical thinking skills????
I have been told that schools should supply paper, pens/pencils, highlighters, and whatever school supplies I require in class.
Yes, I am tired.  I am tired of hearing that I am to blame for failing schools.  Of being told that the state of education is all my fault.  Of feeling guilty because I spent time with MY family instead of spending time on "school work."  Of telling my SON, "just a minute, Momma is working."  Of society thinking my job is so easy anybody could do it.  I challenge you to sub just one day in your area schools and see that it's not for every one.
I am a professional.  And I want to be treated as such

The World Got A Little Darker

Friday, November 14, 2014 the world grew a little darker.  It lost a truly remarkable soul...Mr. John Watts.  I only knew Mr.  Watts for seven short years, but I didn't know how much he inspired me until I heard he passed away.

Mr.  Watts taught high school art at a small rural school in Mississippi.  But he could have taught anywhere he choose.  He choose to never leave that small school because big schools can always get good teachers, but students at small schools often suffer because good teachers either because they won't come or won't stay.  He openly stated that he disliked freshmen, but he always qualified that statement with the explanation that freshmen meant immaturity not necessarily a grade classification. He was senior sponsor and part of the chain gang during football season.  We were part of the faculty that got to school by 6:30 for a 7:50 bell.  We had some amazing talks during these early morning hours with about three other early birds.  

He taught the students art, art history, self-esteem, and so much more.  He believed in us all.  He made me feel as if I was the greatest history to ever grace the halls of the school.  He made the students feel as if they were great artists even if they would never make it past Art I.  As I was struggling with professional issues, feeling torn between loyalty to the students and disagreements with the administration, he always gave wonderful advice to a young, strong-strong woman.  He always told me to be careful what you ask for about wanting to go  to a bigger school system.  He was told me that those bigger schools can always get good teachers but its the smaller schools that need to keep its good teachers...they harder to replace.  Even though I have trouble following this:  he always to me to be careful what I said to the students.  I have a habit of telling the students that I don't care if they learn it or not I am not gonna to make it so easy that they don't have to do anything to get a good grade.  He told once to not worry about principals because they come and go...You just have to outlast the bad ones.

I don't think I can recall him ever complaining or not seeing a smile on his face.  He truly loved his job, his calling, his friends, his co-workers, and his students.  He, along with a few others, were my family while I all by myself.

Hearing of his death, I have decided that I want to be more like him.  I want to stop being so negative.  I want to be more positive.  I want to help my students to see their potential more than I am doing now.  I don't want his light that was always radiating to go completely out.  I want the light that he shined on me for seven years to shine forth from me.

Heroes Among Us

As a high school history teacher for 16 years, I have had several hundred young men and women grace my classroom. Several have been outstanding young people.  Several have remained in my thoughts and prayers years after they have moved on.  Some I stay in contact with to this day.  I have kept up with the lives of many post-school...good and bad.  I understood the impact these young people had on my life.  However I never realized the impact they would have on my son.  My son is my classroom's unofficial mascot.  Now that he has started school (my school is officially a 7-12; however the elementary is connected to the high school by one long hallway), everyone knows him.  He comes to my room in the afternoon with 15 minutes of class left.  My students will automatically ask, "What color were you on today?"  He is high-fived as he walks down the hallway.  I secretly smile at it all.  What mother doesn't want everyone to like/love her son?

As color guard sponsor, I am required to go to all football games.  I really didn't/don't mind.  My husband and son went to most as well.  During one game my son was chosen by the local newspaper reporter to be the Fan of the Game. During the "interview" Farris was asked who his favorite player was.  Farris replied that he worn #4 because Jaylin Aikens was his player.  Jaylin wears #4 for our high school team.  I never dreamed what would follow.

Jaylin started seeking Farris out to get fist-bumps to or high-fives.  It was requested that they take picture together on senior night.  And then  Farris was given this as a present:

For a high school senior to go out of his way to try to make my son happy, bring indescribable joy into my heart.  My son has a hero that he gets to see everyday.  His hero plays football and, to him, is just as great as any NFL player.  My son's hero has already taught him the value of bringing joy to other.  I wish all 5 year-old's had a hero as real as my son.

 I hope these two are friends for years.  Farris will be a fan of Jaylin's for a long time.

No Regrets

Many years ago, I decided that I would have no regrets about my life.  Don't get me wrong.  I have made some horrendous decisions that turned out really bad, but even those choices have made me who I am today. Every decision I have ever made has led me to this moment now.  I like who I am now. I like my life.  I can't imagine it any different. One little decision could have throw everything off.  To have just a tiny regret about the past would be to have a tiny regret about who I am today.  As a child of God, I believe that I perfect in his eyes.  I don't have to be perfect in human eyes.  But to have doubts or regrets about who I am is to think that somehow God created something less than perfect.  I have many times fallen short of the mark, but that is why I am washed in the Blood of the Lamb.  All of the trials and tribulations that I endured prepared me to help someone else.  I gained wisdom to pass along.  I gained empathy for others.  I found understanding in a similar circumstance.  So my no regrets in life motto isn't really about making I don't miss out on an opportunity.  It's more or less about making sure that in the future I don't said, "I wish I hadn't dated that person," or "I wish I had taken that job," or something to that effect. Dating that person taught me lessons.  Not taking that job freed me up for something better.  I don't regret who I was then.  I don't regret who I am now.  I won't regret who I will be.